The ball is rolling...

So I'm just going to go with the flow....

My main goal at the start of this year was to be pregnant by the end of the year. It's why I've moved back closer to my family so that I can benefit from their support as I embark upon life as a solo mum by choice. It's why I'm enduring the commuter traffic and a job that isn't necessarily my ideal, because, at the end of the day, the elements of life can't be easily summed up in simple pros and cons, there are certain things that are weighted more heavily. And for me, that's family closeness and my certainty that it is in my destiny to be a mother.

As a solo mum by choice, I've been going through the processes of connecting with a fertility clinic, waiting out the 3 month cooling off period, having fertility tests done, attending mandatory counseling, meeting with the donor coordinator to select my donor and attending nurses orientation to learn about the procedures I will be undertaking. I'm going for IUI, all natural, no drugs, thankfully!

I had some debate over whether to start immediately, just because we could, or to wait until my family was back from overseas and it was a little later in the year (to make the timing of the actual birth fit better into my research schedule). But I figured, you know what? The ball is rolling now, let's just go with the flow. I'm on a path and it is what it is.

Today is day three of my cycle and I've had the first of my blood tests to determine whether this will be the first cycle in which I could potentially conceive. The excitement of that alone has been enough to lighten my spirits and make all the other little daily annoyances fade a bit into the background.

At the risk of jinxing it... I'm quietly thrilled over a series of serendipitous events significant and non. There's been a doula/massage therapist/nutritionist come on board at my chiropractic practice - convenient! My favourite show is finally back on telly - yay! I bought a new car and I love it - cute! And I've had a paper accepted into an international conference - prestige!

So it is what it is, and right now it is good :)

Find what you love, and do that

A few weeks ago I went to a fabulous workshop around getting in touch with your chakra centres, grounding, meditation and self empowerment, among many other things. All the other ladies there were lovely, open souls with wonderful energy and we all shared a really great afternoon together talking freely and without judgement.

Right towards the end of the afternoon, one of the convenors simply said to me "Find what you love and do that". I have had that sentiment circling around in my mind ever since. It reminded me that I had been affirming to myself that life is too short not to spend it doing things that make us happy. It also reminded me that I don't actually know what it is that I love any more.

I don't hate my job, but I certainly don't love it. I don't hate my research work, but again, I don't love it. I do love babies and children and I love to dance and to teach dance, but since moving I haven't found a studio that I love being a part of or that feels like the right fit.

So I've got myself a goal... Find what you love and do that!